Statistics show that 1 out of every 3 women will experience an abusive relationship at some point in her life. This means that at least you or one of your two closest friends may be a victim of domestic violence. Whether you are experiencing emotional abuse, physical abuse or sexual abuse - You don’t have to remain a victim.

We all hope that abusive behaviour from a spouse is just a temporary blip in the unending love relationship that you both share. The TRUTH is that most abusers never stop abusing you; in fact the behaviour normally escalates.

Our advice can help you discover the truth of your relationship; identify the facade and hidden pain. You will uncover some strategies and tools to help you successfully navigate your way out of the abusive situation and begin to rebuilding your life again.

From: Norva Abiona

Dear Friend,

I too was in an abusive marriage and had to muster up the courage and inner strength to leave with my then one year old child.

On my honeymoon the truth of my abusive relationship became very clear. I HAD not READ the WORRYING signs during over three years of courtship.

I kept it to myself and hoped every episode of abuse was a one off. I had stopped counting the past times that it happened. I convinced myself that it would never happen again and for three years told no one. I finally got the courage to tell my mum. Her reaction was so heart felt and shocking, she could not stand the thought of this man, who she welcomed into our family, hurting her daughter.

Instead of me using that to empower me, I actually retreated and pretended that it had stopped. Why? Because I was afraid that she would get herself in trouble on my behalf. So I continued to lie to myself and others.

It took me another three year before I took those final steps to leave for good. For me, still in the back of my mind I had been holding on to a glimmer of hope that he would change and we would be a family again. Thankfully, within days of leaving something felt different, I began to feel free. It finally began to dawn on me what I had been accepting as normal, as healthy in a relationship.

I entered that relationship a confident young lady. To everyone around me I was still the happy person I always was. What they did not know was I cried whenever I was on my own, I was slowly losing my self-esteem and I was feeling trapped in the abusive relationship.

My child was the catalyst for me finding a way to free myself. I was not just responsible for me. What is it for you? For each person it’s different.

Find a reason to be free from the abuse and you will find a way to be free from your abuser.

The choices we have to make are not always easy, but You are worth it.

You may be asking ‘but Norva will can I EVER really be loved more than I am now? The answer is YES! 100%! I am not just writing about things I heard. No, my friend I am now happily married to a loving, gentle, man. I have been where you are and have come out on the other side. Let me show you how to come out as well.

Stop living a life that is controlled by someone else. YOU MAY BE  being blamed for things you didn’t do… you don’t look forward to being in the comfort of your own home… you are afraid to say exactly how you really feel… you don’t socialise… sleeping together is a chore not a pleasure...

Stress is beginning to affect your health. When you think of the future you are not optimistic. Can you really call this a healthy relationship?

I have FIVE steps to share with you that will help get you started. Listen carefully and do them without hesitation if you want to leave this abusive relationship and start afresh your wonderful life that is waiting for you.

Are you or someone you know involved in an abusive relationship? Don’t wait until it’s too late, gEt advice and practical steps towards an abuse-free tomorrow.

Why Do I want to help you?

I want you to know that I understand what you are going through. Don’t get me wrong, yes every situation is different, but abuse is sad, frustrating, demeaning and most of all wrong. Absolutely no one should be abused by another person, let alone when the person says that they love you.

I know of women who remained in a marriage for over 20 years because they thought it was their religious duty to stay. Well I am so glad that in the last decade many women have begun to speak out, shout out, walk out or run out… women are doing whatever it takes to reclaim their authentic AND TRUE self back.

During all of the abuse my ex-husband would boldly say to me that I would never leave him… and if I do he swore that he would find me and kill me… Then in the next breath he would say that he regretted marrying me and that I was ruining his life…

After years of hearing that I began to live like it was true. It then became almost impossible for me to think of successfully coming out of that environment and living a happy healthy life alone or in ANOTHER relationship.

Who are you allowing to take away your power, your esteem, and your confidence?

Well it’s up to you to put a stop to it… and there is a way to do it that will be safe for you and anyone else involved.

When I decided to leave there were things that I did to make sure that it was a clean break. So I will give you advice on the best way to do so.

I know that although we are tempted to tell our close friends that is not always the best thing to do. I will tell you the type of person/s that you should speak to about it.

It is not always advisable to go to someone close to you or a refuge centre, when you leave your abuser. I will tell you the best places to go and why.

There are things that I needed for myself and my child so that we could settle into your new lives together. I will give you a list of things that you would have thought of and some you may not have considered, that are equally as important.

Even though I made the decision to leave I couldn’t do so immediately. There were things I did to keep myself as safe as possible while still in the same house with my abuser. I will give you specific advice on what to do to help keep you safe.

While some people can live close to their ex after leaving an abusive relationship, I didn’t feel like I could do that. I will advise you on what to consider when you are choosing your relocation.

Just leaving the home is not enough to be free; you have to take some step to reprogram your mind. I will share with you something that you can do towards that.

The information I provide will help you not feel alone or frazzled during this important process.

I wanted it to end.

It would be a lie to say I didn't contemplate suicide. Yes even though I was brought up to know that my life is worth living and the consequences of taking my life. At times I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, my hair was falling out and my skin was terrible. I was too broken to think straight on my own. I couldn’t HAVE GOTTEN out alive without my faith and THE help from others.

While still with my abuser I started to work on me. Slowly but surely, I began to think more positiveLY about my future. I got stronger, the old me was making some appearances. I started to think clearly and avoided my first instinct to stay, remain a victim, be concerned about what others would think. I strategically took steps to free myself. I could remain in a loveless, unhealthy, painful relationship... BUT I didn't.

Like many otherS, I didn't want to give up on my relationship and be another divorce statistic. But far more importantLY was that I owed it to myself and my child, my nieces and nephews along with many others NOT to be ridiculed, belittled or dictated to anymore. I DESERVED BETTER AND SO DO YOU…

I applied the steps and strategies successfully and broke free physically then mentally from my abusive ex-husband. At first I felt really guilty, but I did what was necessary anyway. Little by little, day by day, I spoke to myself and began to belieVE that I am worth more than I am accepting in the relationship. I learned so much about myself… I was not going to believe the lies OR his apologies any MORE. THIS IS because that was soon followed by more abuse. I still performed my wifely chores. I made sure that there were no eXternal signs of my inner change, until it was absolutely necessary. It worked.

I can’t say that my tears and guilty feeling went away immediately, but as time passED and with my plan and then freedom I was able to stop the tears. I got my life on track, and now for over a decade I have been in a happy, healthy relationship.

I began to recognise signs of people in abusive relationships, whether they realised OR WERE WILLING TO ADMIT IT OR NOT. I started to encourage them to want better for themselves, to let them know that they were worth so much more and they can make the choice to change their circumstances. I wished that all will listen, but that is not always the case. For those who listened, I helped many of them to take the steps to their freedom, by sharing with them practical steps and strategies that I used and learnt as I increased my knowledge on the topics of relationship, marriage, divorce and abuse. Encouraged by their and my success I started writing down some of what I knew, refining it, researching and testing it, and developing it into a formula that would help people escape the grips of abusive relationships. It was this formula that formed the foundation of "how to end an abusive relationship" and other books and materialS that I have and I am developing.

My aim is to help as many women as I can to live a fulfilled life in happy, loving relationship by teaching them to be the best of themselves as much as possible. This way, if their relationship does come to an end, they are not going to be full of regret of their contribution to the demise.

Now I know that not all of such relationships will end in permanent separation, but that is the exception rather than the rule when building a truly loving, healthy relationship. No matter what others say, especially your abuser, you need a time of separation. You need this both for yourself and for them. Your abuser needs help and you cannot give it to them.

My projects are labours of love, because I know that you have greatness within you and that you deserve the best that life has to offer.

You can’t afford to wait months OR years to get started. Tomorrow is promised to no one.

You need advice and strategies now so that you can act on it quickly.

You may not have time to wait another episode of abuse from your spouse as the outcome could be grave IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE.

You should not potentially live in pain, frustration and agony any longer than you have to.

I could not KEEP QUIET ANY longer knowing that your life COULD BE hanging in the balance. No, I have to reach out to you.

To the best of my ability I WANT TO HELP SAVE YOU, IWANT TO SHOW YOU HOW you can end this abusive cycle safely!

My step by step strategy is going to help equip you with knowledge that has worked in the past. It will give you a better chance of making a successfully getaway. You’ll then be able to share with otherS how they too can save themselves.